Change and the truth

“If we could change ourselves, the tendencies in the world would also change. As a man changes his own nature, so does the attitude of the world change towards him. … We need not wait to see what others do.” -Gandhi


I recently made a life decision that rocked my world.  Walking from the office where I resigned my steady employment I remember reaching for the sticky-note and penning the words – be the change you want to see in the world.  Without a doubt those words have been swirling in my mind with flavors of wonder, passion, fear and focus –all in degrees I have never experienced before.  The financial insecurity of it all is only a symptom, with the root cause buried deeper in who do I want to be – what is the change that I have to see in the world –where has it all gone awry?

There is an injustice in my mind.  One that others could perceive as emotional or angry.  It is really neither.  It is in our inability to bridge the gender gap.  The complexity is too deep and our lenses are too thick.  We deal in both what is real and what is perceived.  How do we know the difference?  Is there a difference when our perceptions are our realities?

Will I be the change I want to see in the world?  I learned that this saying had been bastardized from the Gandhi quote where this blog post began.  It is arrogant to think that I can solely make an impact on how the world perceives, reacts or responds.  If there is nothing more we learn from the devastation of a tornado or the pain of a child’s untimely death – we are really in control of nothing.

I do however find comfort in Gandhi’s words – the hope in that I can work on myself and change my own nature.  Some do this as they draw boundaries in relationships, others do this as they choose to address the plank in their own eyes rather than the specks in the eyes of others.  I find the power rather in taking responsibility for both my own brokenness and greatness – and that I need not wait to see what others do.

So I am in pursuit of breaking down the barriers that would ultimately uncover the truth.  Not my truth or your truth – but that place where we coexist – feeling valued and heard.  I need to embrace the truth through your eyes and divulge my truth.  You being man or woman, employee and entrepreneur, house husband or wife – executive or individual contributor – one thought at a time…

Shirley Ramos is a principal at Dirty Girls Consulting, with a deep understanding that life is ‘messy’.  DGC is about real women with a story supporting and empowering other ‘real’ women to be the best that they can be. Women work differently, think differently, and it is up to us to develop this difference into  our strength. We explore breaking free of traditional standards, accomplishing professional and personal goals to create an authentic, fully loved life. Read more Dirty Girl Consulting blogs here. 


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